A few months ago, I stood in my entryway staring at a table I had picked out years ago and thought, “Why did I choose this?”
It wasn’t ugly(or maybe it was?). There was nothing wrong with it(it was a little wobbly). Ok, it just wasn’t me.
The entire space felt that way. The walls were a cool gray. The decor felt generic. It didn’t reflect the rest of our home, and it definitely didn’t reflect the way I decorate now.
So I decided it was time for a change.
At first glance, this might sound like a blog post about our entryway makeover. It isn’t. It’s about something I’ve been realizing over the last several years: I don’t decorate my home the way I used to anymore.
When we first moved into our 1977 house in 2019, I approached decorating the same way most people do. I looked at trends, saved inspiration photos, and focused on creating rooms that looked pretty and pulled together. I wanted my home to look good. Not in a magazine-perfect kind of way, but in a “someone who knows what they’re doing lives here” kind of way.
I spent a lot of time worrying about whether things looked good together, whether they were in style, and whether I was making the right color choices. Now when I start a project I ask a completely different question.
How do I want this room to feel?
For this entryway, the answer was warm. I wanted it to feel welcoming. More than anything, I wanted it to feel collected. But mostly, I wanted it to feel like our family. That’s what led me to add subtle stripes, bring in vintage pieces with meaning, and finally replace that wobbly table that never felt quite right. For the first time, I wasn’t decorating based on what looked good in a photo. I was decorating based on how I wanted the space to feel when I walked past it every day and when guests enter our home.
How my design has changed
One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how many people tell me they don’t know how to decorate. They say: “You’re so creative. You really have an eye for that. I could never do that.”
But after sharing projects online for years, I’ve realized that most people aren’t struggling because they aren’t creative. They’re overwhelmed.
There are hundreds of designers telling us what’s “in” and “out”, a million paint colors, endless furniture options, and no shortage of opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do. It’s no wonder so many people freeze before they ever get started. But creating a home that reflects those living in it isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about paying attention to what feels right for you and your family.
And maybe that’s why I love this entryway so much now. Not because it’s the most beautiful room in the house, but because it feels like us.
It Starts With Asking a Different Question
Over the past six-and-a-half years in this house, we’ve celebrated birthdays, hosted a graduation party, hosted girls dinners, had a DIY charm party, survived hard seasons, laughed around the dinner table, watched our boys grow up, and filled these walls with memories I never could have planned for.
Somewhere along the way, I realized the goal wasn’t creating a perfect home.
The goal was creating a home that reflects who we are and how we’ve lived.
A home with our heartbeat in it.
Those are not the same thing.
A perfect home is always chasing the next thing. A meaningful home pays attention to the things that matter most. That’s a lesson I didn’t learn from a design book. I learned it from living here. I still love paint colors. Vintage finds will probably always have my heart.
And I definitely love a good makeover.
But now, before I ask what a room should look like, I ask how I want it to feel. Do I want this room to feel cozy? Collected? Calm? Welcoming? Creative? Energetic? Bold?
Once I know the answer, the decorating decisions become a lot easier.
The Courtyard Taught Me the Same Lesson
Take our courtyard, for example. For years, I kept redesigning it because I was focused on how it looked. Every version was pretty, but something always felt off. It wasn’t until I stopped asking how it should look and started asking how I wanted to feel when I was sitting out there that everything changed. I realized I wanted it to feel like an English cottage garden. A little wild. A little imperfect. A little whimsical.
The same thing happened with the entryway. I didn’t need it to impress anyone. I didn’t need it to be trendy. I wanted it to feel warm. I wanted it to feel like the rest of our home. I wanted it to wrap you in a hug and tell a little bit of our story the moment someone walked through the door.
Once I knew that, the decisions almost made themselves. The stripes felt right. The vintage pieces felt right. Even the gumball terrarium felt right because it added personality.
Creating a Meaningful Home Isn’t About Getting It Right
When I think back on my favorite rooms in our house, I don’t love them because they follow a certain design style. I love them because of how they make me feel when I’m in them.
And maybe that’s the question more of us should be asking when we decorate. Not “What should this room look like?” But “How do I want to feel when I’m here?”
But creating a home that reflects the people living in it isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about paying attention to what you’re naturally drawn to. Pay attention to the photos you save. Pay attention to the homes you enjoy spending time in. Pay attention to the pieces that make you smile when you walk past them. Those things tell you a lot more about your style than any designer, trend, or algorithm ever will.
And maybe that’s what happens when a house slowly becomes a story.
You stop decorating for the photo.
And start decorating for the life being lived inside it.
